Rambling about the Truth...

Sometimes I get stuck behind the idea that I am too small, or I will let people's negative attitudes effect my world view. The truth of it is, I may at times be very idealistic, I may dream too big, or I may seem to forget to enjoy just being twenty...I love every minute of it. I sometimes find myself late a night browsing the Facebook profiles and walls of people that I went to high school with. I see their drunken pictures, their acts of questionable responsibility, and I read about the wild and often times risky lives they lead. I sometimes allow my mind to wander and to think that I want to be like that. But, when it comes down to it, I don't. That just isn't me. I guess you could call me crazy, but I love life in the fast lane, I love being surrounded by people twice my age, and I love the satisfaction that comes with creating positive change. I've spent the last year figuring out exactly what makes me who I am, and so much of "me" is about helping others, changing the future, dreaming big... and seeing it through to reality. In the past year I have been able to launch my own business. I designed my website from a blank white page, I have built a list of amazing shoppers, and I have learned a vast amount about the world of decorating and antiques. In the past year I have travelled across the south, and countless parts of Kentucky. I, during a normal year, would have been out of the country multiple times, flying to amazing destinations in the tropics, or cruising to beautiful beaches, but this year I have met the people that surround me and explored the places close to home. Through these adventures I have learned a lot about both myself and where I want to go in life. At times of extreme frustration I may say that I just want to plan really pretty weddings, but I would never be happy in doing that, I would always be left wanting more, and wondering how I would make a lasting impact. When I was fresh out of high school I was set on going to the Middle East, I wanted to work with international business, but somewhere along the way I lost sight of this goal and came to say I wanted to be an event planner. This career is great. I can without sounding cocky say that I would be amazing at being an event planner or designer, but I love helping others too much. I love travelling, I love writing, I love exploring, and I love the satisfaction that comes with knowing you've helped the lives of others. In the years between high school and now I allowed myself to become homesick for Ohio County, I developed a fear of the adventure and the fear of not having security. I became afraid of heights, and I became afraid of leaving my family... Now at the beginning of my junior year of college I see that I allowed myself to become jaded and hard, I became afraid to be who I am because of comments made my family members and the fear of not being accepted in my hometown. I started writing a weekly column for my local paper to be a way to hide who I really am from the people around me, but somewhere in the middle of my writing and exploring I realized the only people I had to fear where the people I kept so close. I allowed their comments to push me away from being who I am around home... but somewhere in that same time I met so many amazing people from the same area that have dynamic stories and inspiring lives. They are unafraid of being themselves or being judged and that truly inspired me... The column's intention was to find what it means to be an Ohio Countian, but in the end it became more about what it means to be me, Ben Ashby, and that is something I am beyond grateful for. It taught me that I am beyond capable of travelling the world, being myself, and insuring my dreams become reality...